- Discuss how you are willing to be tied (i.e. just arms, no legs); perhaps you need to put on a show to be tied at first ("repressed development play") to check whether you like to be confined.
- Discuss what you are willing to have while being bound – i.e. you can kiss me, touch me; however please give me a chance to participate in intercourse.
- Discuss what sensations make you uncomfortable – i.e. I don't care for ice on my clit, would prefer not to have intercourse toys utilized on me, don't need my penis tied with anything.
- Discuss deal-breakers – i.e. Do not leave the room while I am tied.
Begin WITH A FEATHER
Since this is a bedroom beginner’s guide, it will ease you gradually, explaining the best practices to tempt and tease your lover and allow you to communicate your innermost desires. Additional questions and discussions can be addressed in the Fetish & Bondage section of the Discussion Board.
More couples practice bondage than people realize – holding down your lover's arms amid sex, blindfolding them, binding them to the bed with a some pantyhose, punishing them amid foreplay – this is all BDSM.
The reason that bondage is so stimulating is because it limits some of our senses to create an increase in the other senses that are not restrained.
When we take away a sense – like our sense of sight - with a blindfold - all the action that is going ahead around us tackles another level of power. All of a sudden, the sound of a drawer opening or of the sound of our lover moving over the bed is something that causes us to stir with excitement.
These sounds wouldn’t have evoked the same response if we were able to see where the sound was coming from.
In the event that you then take away another sense - suppose the feeling of touch – you are stimulating a completely different side of the individual. I recommend the TIE THE KNOT restriction pack for newbies looking to take this step. It includes 4 sets of restraints for lower legs and wrists, and a blindfold. They are secured with velcro, which won’t make your "detainee" feel like he or she can't get out if necessary. The blindfold and restraints are super delicate as well!
As an alternative to restraints, you can wear a collar in the bedroom. It is somewhat less risky BDSM, yet numerous couples think that it’s incredibly sexy to lead one another around on a restraint. The Prisoner Lover’s kit, which is also known as the Prisoner Pink kit, has restraints, a collar, and a chain for the master to hold! The chain can also be tied to a bedpost for limited movement and an irresistible opportunity for power play! For individuals who are uncomfortable with full idleness, this is a great option.
The submissive gets to experience the feeling of being sexually overpowered, and the master gets to practice control on their partner in a safe, but stimulating environment. It’s a win-win!
The last thing to consider is what you will be dressed (or not dressed) in while you are secured? My recommendation is NUDE! There is nothing as sexually vulnerable and exciting as being spread across a bed with your legs and wrists attached to the bedposts, eyes concealed by a blindfold! The sensation of feeling exposed additionally adds to the sensuality of the experience. BDSM is about giving up control ultimately. You are totally vulnerable to battle off whatever sexual pleasures he or she has in store for you while you are bound, defenseless, and horny.